Wonderland

Falling In Love With Life Again - Part One

Categories: Spiritual | August 18th, 2008 | by mysticwonder01 | no comments

For so many years I found myself emotionally stagnate, lost and at times even carrying a negative belief system about what life ultimately had in store for me. When I found myself in between the light and dark moments, I would go back and forth from letting go to holding on to what I wanted to see. Due to my own actions, I couldn’t provide my mind, body or soul the appropriate fuel needed to actually survive in a healthy manner.

I remember at one time feeling as though I would never get what I really wanted, no
matter how hard I tried. I believed that I had done all the work and paid my dues in spades, yet I had nothing to show for it. Not only was I dead wrong, I was crazy. Yeah I said it, crazy. I thought I knew myself completely. As it turns out, I didn’t know myself at all. That’s not an epiphany anyone wants to get, especially when they’re set in their ways. “Who me, change? Believe something else and do something different? Yeah, right!”

To get different results you have to try another way. We all know this, but when we’re knee deep in drama and feeling lonely or scared, there’s a tendency to float toward people who don’t have our best interests at heart, carry a negative belief system or keep ourselves frozen in time. We can also miss out on grand opportunities for change because we’re so focused on what we don’t have. Until we have learned how to master the art of letting go, we will continue to experience the same thing over and over again. Believe me, I should know and it‘s not very much fun.

Letting go is a 1-2-3 process that takes an enormous amount of faith and time. When I say let go, I mean give everything up to the Universe and believe you are getting what you need to achieve the life you really want, even if it doesn‘t feel so hot. It’s easier said than done, yes, but I can promise you the results are nothing short of amazing.

STEP 1 - ACCEPTANCE
All you’re doing here is finding an understanding of the past and current situation, then training your brain to stop wanting to change what is. The only person you can control is you. This takes a lot of patience, but if you want something bad enough you’ll stop at nothing to reach that goal, right? The goal being peace of mind and self-empowerment (just thought I’d be clear on that one). The best way to stay on track with this step is to constantly tell yourself that you’re supposed to live through this experience and it’s just a stepping stone.

STEP 2 - FORGIVENESS
“To err is human, to forgive divine.”

We’ve all heard that one and it’s easier said than done, isn’t it? Yes it sure is, but it’s totally possible. Again, you just have to want it bad enough. True forgiveness is breaking the cycle of playing the “blame game”. This means letting go of who did what to whom and allowing yourself to be the victim. Relationships, no matter what kind, are a two-way street and each person needs to be 100% accountable for their role in the demise. It doesn’t matter what the situation is. If you think you’re ready to try and forgive someone, it’s best to believe that their choice(s) don’t affect you anymore, then release the person and situation to the Universe.

STEP 3 - MOVING ON
Depending on how strongly you were affected by the person and/or situation in question, steps 1 and 2 can take months or even years to complete. The timeframe is strictly up to you and nobody else. Moving on truly begins when you’ve hit rock bottom and are sick of yourself. You will be tired of feeling lousy and are at the point where the only place you can go is up. This step is the action part of the process, but comes in 2 phases.

Phase 1 - The Back and Forth
You will probably swing from positive to negative thoughts regarding your past in the situation in question and your future. This is all very natural, however, should not be dwelled upon for very long. Feel the pain or angst, then let it go. Trust that all the work you’ve done is not only good enough, but profound enough to implement change in divine time (when it’s your turn).

Phase 2 - Change Your Lifestyle
This is the time for action. Take part in activities that you used to love or new ones that you know will make you happy. Get rid of all the dead weight, which includes leaving people and/or situations that bring you down and do not fit your personality any longer. It’s important to NEVER stay where your heart and soul is screaming in agony. When invited to do something that is not a danger to your spirit, but is something you wouldn’t normally do, try it. This is how the miracle of a life change occurs. All you have to do is open your mind and make a new choice. It could be the one that changes your life forever…

The elements that can delay the letting go process and real change are as follows:

* Being fearful of the process and the future
* Holding on to past anger and pain
* Having a lack of faith in yourself
* Beating yourself up for things you think you’ve done wrong
* Not putting forth a real effort to do some things differently
* Not being fully accountable for your actions, past and present
* Believing that your future will be the same based on your past
* Not accepting the reality of your situation (also known as denial)
* Comparing yourself and life to other people

As long as we’re alive, we will never rid ourselves of the trials that life sends our way, but we can work through them and come out shining in the end. Remember, the only thing in life you can control are your own thoughts, feelings and actions. Also understand that this process should never be a competition between you and another. When you adopt that bad intent, it will not only hinder your progress, but will make you look bad to the people you’re trying to impress.

So how do you know when the process is working? Well, nobody’s life is the same, but you will definitely start attracting situations and people that you feel are on the same page as yourself. You will be happier with the outcomes of those situations and will find stability within them. For the most part, your fear will have subsided and your confidence will sky rocket. Your faith will be restored. Most importantly, you will be attracting the life you want without feeling the need to manipulate. The result? You will finally be in love with your life again.

Latest Energy Alert

Categories: Energy Alerts | April 23rd, 2008 | by mysticwonder01 | no comments

Hey everyone!

I haven’t posted the link to Karen’s Energy Alert in a while, but this one is bang on for a lot of people right now, including myself. I was planning on writing a blog myself and still might, however, this alert seems to hit on the major emotions and blocks I’ve been seeing lately.

Read Now!

If you’re feeling lost, lethargic and unable to connect with those around you, this is the alert to read!

xoxo,
Cristin

This Is Me, Cristin Exposed…

Categories: Epiphanies, Love & Stuff, Just Life | March 28th, 2008 | by mysticwonder01 | no comments

About a month ago, my boyfriend and I were driving to his apartment, chatting about random stuff when a silly memory came back to me. I told him about the time I had met up with a couple of women for Thanksgiving out of town. We spent the day traveling from some small town in Indiana to Lexington, Kentucky to meet up with a bunch of people from all over. I didn’t feel like driving so I put my fate into the hands of a lady I had just met. Keep in mind, I was only about 20 years old at the time so I didn’t think it was a big deal.

Well, this one had a lead foot, big time! She drove my Neon (yeah, I know) an hour and a half at 110 miles per hour and I thought that was going to be the end of me. That drive was supposed to be a solid 3 hours. I thought to myself, “Damn, those were some good, fun times. I can’t believe I forgot about that!” What’s funny is that I can’t remember the ladies’ names, but the event is etched in my mind. I don’t know what triggered that visual. Maybe it’s the fact that Dave has a tendency to make quick stops and fast turns, who knows, but that memory brought upon an epiphany and a smile to my face.

When we’re in a place where nothing seems to be going right, we’re bored, lonely or just downright pissed, we can forget about those events that don’t feel special at the time. We don’t put any stock into them because we’re so focused on the negative for moments, months or even years and I’m guilty of allowing that to happen to myself many times and for a variety of reasons.

A long way to happy…

Again I’m here reflecting on where I’m at in my life now versus March last year. I do this fairly often, but this one feels much more profound since I’m in the midst of yet another major life change. For the record, that’s 2 in almost 2 years time for me. I’ve been a busy girl, that’s for sure. Well, I believe moving in with my boyfriend and his two daughters plus being pregnant with my first child is major because it’s definitely not the life I envisioned for myself prior to moving to Ohio. To be honest, I can’t remember the exact vision I had. I do, however, remember thinking that Ohio was just a pit stop on the path I thought I’d be traveling on. Not only was I wrong, but it turns out that I actually belong here. Who knew? Certainly not me.

First off, I really thought the people I was friends with when I moved here were going to be in my life for the long haul. WRONG! I thought it would take me at least a couple of years to find a relationship I wouldn’t sabotage (hey, I was being realistic). WRONG! I believed I wouldn’t ever be a part of or fit into a “white picket fence“ family. WRONG! Oh and let’s not forget the fact that I was NEVER going to get pregnant. WRONG AGAIN! I think you get the point. I was severely mistaken on all acounts and I feel stupid, in a good way.

I have to say that my relationship with Dave single handedly exposed my stupid shit and ripped off the final layer to the repulsive mask I’ve been sporting for quite some time now. That’s what happens when you are served the romantic partner that’s in your highest good. Believe me when I say that events in “your highest good” aren’t always fun and easy. It’s quite the opposite, actually. I have a nasty pattern of dumping guys around the 7 or 8 month mark. I had my little meltdown due to circumstances outside my control (and not his fault), but my body wouldn’t jump to the dump this time. I did the opposite of my natural pattern and ended up here. That’s how I knew where I belonged and with whom.

Someone once told me this, “If you want God to laugh, tell him your plans.” I did that and what I got in return was his middle finger in my face coupled with a super sized dose of happiness. Nice eh? If that’s what the middle finger represents then flick me off all you want God! I’m saying all of this in hindsight, of course. The truth is that I inadvertently manifested all I’m getting today by opening my big mouth and making hypothetical statements to different people while I was miserable, whether I was alone or in a relationship.

“Maybe I should date a guy with kids so I know for sure if he’s a good man…”
“IF I ever get pregnant, the guy must be ‘this way‘…”
“Maybe I will get married if I my needs are met by my partner…”

The biggest lesson I learned about manifesting this past year is that MAYBE and IF statements still count. It’s like I was telling the Universe that I was open to those possibilities, even though my mind was saying something else. Apparently I was lying to myself because I wouldn’t have used those terms if I didn’t really want those things to happen, deep down inside.

The same goes for fear based remarks. I was focused on NOT getting pregnant so much that I poured an excessive amount of energy into it. It was so bad that I think I drove Dave a bit crazy with checking those condoms and making it clear that I didn‘t want a baby. My paranoia (and perhaps some other important factors) told the Universe that getting pregnant was what needed to happen. I’ve always said that your fear is never the reality and I was right. Most of the negative things I thought I knew or was told about pregnancy did NOT happen to me. It’s been a very blissful time thus far and I know I’m very very lucky. Not everyone is blessed with what I’m experiencing, physically and emotionally. I’m super psyched to be a mommy, go figure.

It’s been a long way to happy for me and I’m extremely grateful for so much that the list could take years to recite. I have to give credit to those who have lead me to the life I have today starting with my crazy, dysfunctional family. I‘ll try to keep it short…

Thanks father for putting your bitch wife before your children. Your actions have showed me what to look for and what to avoid in a romantic partner. Your wife has taught me what not to be as a stepmother. If I didn’t experience her rein of terror, I wouldn’t know what the hell to do (and not to do) with my soon to be stepdaughters. I’m grateful to my mother in general. There are so many things to add, but I think I’ll just say it to her face.

To the new friends I made in Ohio and my people in Michigan, thanks for being here and being a part of my life. I thank you for every memory we’ve shared and look forward to creating many more. A special thanks to my clients. I appreciate you guys letting me into your lives and allowing me to do what I love most. To my new family, thanks for accepting me as I am. You guys have really changed the way I view my life and future. Finally and most importantly, to the folks who have left me and those I have walked away from, thanks for staying away.

Every single experience we have leads us to a choice. The choice to stay or to move forward. Moving away from a dream that has proven to be just that can hurt, but it’s necessary in order to enter the room of endless possibilities. I don’t know where I’d be if not for my desire and determination to be my true self. If I just stood there doing nothing, then I wouldn’t have been able to take part in the many joys life has to offer.

Another great epiphany I had recently is that my life wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be, especially my childhood. I‘ve seen other people get dealt a hand I never could‘ve handled and I should‘ve been more thankful for what I had and experienced. Playing the victim does nothing but create more unnecessary bullshit and half the time it’s nothing but imaginary drama that leads to excessive sulking. Yeah, I did that.

This is me, Cristin exposed…