The Spirit Oracle |

* He/she has everything and I have nothing, this is so not fair!

* I changed my life for him/her and now I’m stuck.

* Nothing ever works out for me.

* How come they weren’t that way with ME?

Keep in mind, the above examples are coming from people who broke up with or cheated on their partner. They were not on the receiving end…

If you were to hear that from a friend, what would you say to them? You’d probably say something to the effect of, “Don’t worry, it’ll get better”, “Don’t just sit there, make things happen!” or even “Who cares? You didn’t want them so find someone else.” I’m going to be brutally honest here and say this: By crying, whining, pushing or complaining, you will not garner any sympathy from your ex. If they are done with the relationship and have told you so, they’re probably seeking peace. Listening to you in that mode only confirms the reason they moved on.

So why are you feeling jealous, angry or betrayed by your ex’s choice to move on? Here are some questions you can ask yourself to get to the root of the problem:

* Has my ex expressed his/her desire to get back together?

* Did I ever really love him/her for who they were when we were together?

* Am I happy and fulfilled in my own life?

If you answered “No” to the above questions then you are only reacting to an emotional void, lack of personal validation and the need to feel better about yourself. You’re pissed at your ex because you either want what they have or want the life they gave back then and you’re feeling powerless. Once your relationship has ended, it’s your responsibility to heal and create the life you really want. Your ex cannot be accountable for the actions you take and choices you make. Trying to hold on to someone you didn’t really want to stay with anyway will only block new options from entering your life.

When I say “holding on”, I’m not exactly referring to lingering feelings of love or romance. I’m talking about the fact that you’re projecting your unhappiness, feelings of inadequacy and loneliness on to them because you’re so focused on what you don’t have, not the possibilities of what you could create. The more thought you give to the emptiness inside yourself, the more unattractive you look to prospective dating options. It’s true! You could be the most physically attractive and gifted person on the planet, but if you keep yourself feeling like shit, you’ll project that image on the outside.

It’s Not About You -

The most important thing one must realize while trying to break the nasty cycle of ego driven behavior toward another is that it’s not about you. Your ex-lover, friends or family are not making their life choices because of you or for your benefit, especially if you are no longer acquainted. If you can get that out of your head right now, the chances of you reacting in a manner in which you’d regret decreases immensely. If the choice isn’t about you or directed to you specifically, refrain from getting involved in that person’s business. You’re only setting yourself up for more pain, heartache and possibly embarrassment.

If you’re still communicatively connected to the other person, you need to detach emotionally to gain clarity on whatever situation you’re facing to see things from a non-threatening perspective in order to make a neutral choice that’s in the best interest of everyone involved. That’s a tuffy since most people don’t think before they speak or act, but if you put forth the effort, eventually you will get the concept and it will become second nature.

Copyright © 2008, Mystic Wonder.Org, All Rights Reserved.

2. I need to keep those ideas available, but let the Universe direct me.

3. I have to stick with my daily routine until opportunities present themselves.

WHAT IS A TRANSITIONAL PHASE?

A transition is moving from one point in your life to another to reach a higher level in your physical and spiritual life. In plain English, it’s the down time between the present and next life change.

HOW DO I KNOW I‘M GOING THROUGH IT?

There are many common emotions and symptoms we experience while transitioning. Here are a few examples:

* Feeling lost or confused about where your life is headed.* Knowing something is missing, but you can’t figure what it is.* Constantly searching for your next major step in life.

You know you’re out of the phase when “new things” enter your physical world and/or when you “magically“ feel like you‘re back to normal. Some of the symptoms won’t go away if that was a change you needed to make. For example, if you were a slob and you experience the obsession with cleaning, then perhaps you’re not supposed to be that way any longer. I was one of those people and believe me, cleanliness really is next to Godliness.

Once you’re out of the transition, it’s super important to allow change to occur. Welcome it with open arms, even if it appears to be negative on the surface. For some people, the break-up of a relationship (platonic or romantic) can be considered negative, but if it ends, there’s usually a damn good reason. I choose to look at that as a rebirth, especially if it wasn’t a healthy relationship to begin with. It’s an opportunity to start over with a clean slate and create the life you really want and with who you want.

I know someone who dated a guy for 14 months without a commitment. She gave him an altimatium, but it didn’t go in her favor. They broke up the other day and she’s devastated. She’s a fabulous woman with a lot to offer the right person. Yeah, it’s probably the worst time of year to end a relationship, but I believe she needed to free herself in order to make room for someone in her highest good. 14 months and no commitment, are you kidding me? So not worth it…

WHAT ABOUT THE SINGLES?

Don’t worry, I didn’t forget about you guys! The down time for singles during the holidays can be unbearable. I know, I’ve been there plenty of times myself. In effort to keep this entry as short as possible, here are some suggestions to jump start your ability to attract dating prospects or make other important changes to your life:

Change your presence -

Make a list of the qualities you possess that you believe are unhealthy and do the opposite. Place yourself in positive environments with people who make you laugh and feel good about yourself. This will dramatically alter the energy you’re putting out there and other people’s perceptions of you.

Your Personal and Professional Space -

What’s going on with the energy around you? Are you working with people who drag you down and/or are you living in an uninspiring environment? If so, it’s time for a change! Rearrange the furniture, paint your walls, change your residence and/or apply for new jobs. There’s no use staying on a career path or living in a home that isn’t right for you any longer.

New, new new -

Check out your wardrobe. Do you have ancient outfits and stuff that no longer fits you? Get rid of it and replace it with something spectacular. Even if you can’t afford an entire closet, buy one outfit at a time. The same goes for furniture, inexpensive jewelry, make-up and home décor. Don’t overextend yourself financially, though.

Your Health Status -

It’s important to do grounding and physical excersizes in order to maintain balance. Of course, a healthy diet couldn’t hurt especially to restore your skin’s radiance and general aura.

Mix and Mingle -

If you’re not used to going out, it’s high time you start. You don’t have to become a barfly (please don’t), but going to nice place where you can mingle with new folks is always a great option. Start making yourself available to your friends and their social circles. You never know who you will meet. I went to a wedding as someone’s “plus-one” and BAM! Hello boyfriend… Say yes instead of no and it could change your life!

The above suggestions aren’t just for the singles. You can apply these to any life change you’re seeking. This is the best way to DE-FUNKIFY yourself and create the path you can be happy with. Please remember that the rewards come with hard work, patience and faith. It’s best to not have an “instant gratification” complex while going through the process. Trust me, I’ve been there and done that. The results come when you’re living in the now and are open to divine time.

Breakups can be very positive. You get the time to just think about you, and what you want, what pleases you, and what makes you happy. It’s also an introspective time. You can analyze why you are feeling so despondent and alone one day and as though you are floating on air another. You get time to make changes, to make resolutions. “I will never allow another person to be so important that I let myself down.” “I will not lose the sense of who I am just because I become part of a ‘we’.” “I will never make the relationship more important than my sense of integrity.” “I will never forget old friends because someone new enters my life.” “I will never demean myself trying to protect my relationship.”

The test of any relationship is as much the valleys as the peaks. Happily ever after is only in storybooks. Get your closure yourself. Put an end to this past relationship, not only in your head, but in your heart. Closure is the gift you give yourself. It heals and strengthens. Asking another why is usually futile. They usually have no clear reason. Shut the doors on that relationship and be willing to open new doors.

What is Wicca? Well, there is an old saying that goes, “If you ask 10 people what Wicca is, you’ll get 15 answers.” And honestly, that’s the putting it mildly. Wicca is a religion, but more so, it is a way of life.

Wicca, though its roots lie in the ancient ways of our ancestors, is actually a relatively new religion that was founded in the UK in the late 1940’s by Gerald Gardner.

Based on nature worship, Wicca is a peaceful way of life that embraces nonviolence, freedom of thoughts and doings of the person, harmony between people, animals and the earth, balance in life, and the worship of Mother Earth as a whole through learning about and becoming one with the earth. .

Most, though certainly not all, Wiccans are polytheistic, (believing in more than one God or Goddess) but the Gods and Goddesses do not have a Divine “forgiver of sins” that washes all responsibility from our hands even before we do wrong. Wicca teaches those who follow the ways of how to take responsibility of ones own deeds and actions. Wiccans believe that The Goddess and The God are in all things natural. In The Wiccn Rede, The main concept is to do what you want, as long as you are not causing harm to anyone and that INCLUDES not impeding on another person’s free will!

Several, but again not all, Wiccans believe in doing Rituals and spell work. They use the knowledge they have of the moon’s and nature’s cycles not only in trying to make what they want come to them, (manifestation) but also in celebration of all of the Mother’s gifts and the bounty we receive from her daily. Ritual and spell work of a TRUE Wiccan will NOT contain forcing another’s will. What you will find contain fertility, artistry, healing, happiness, wisdom, peace, friendship, guidance and sometimes even divination.

You will find anything from saying only a few simple words, to lighting a candle, to oils, incense, tonics and rubs and even a full blown ceremony with all of the above and more. It all depends on the individual.

What Wicca is Not

~Wicca is not a cult like most media portrays. Wicca is recognized as a religion in the “Religious Requirements and Practices of Certain Selected Groups: A Handbook for Chaplains.”

~Wiccans DO NOT recruit.

~Wiccans are not devil worshippers. Most Wiccans don’t even believe in Satan. Satan was created by Christians, using the face of a beloved Pagan God, in order to scare Pagans to Christianity and to detour Christians from going to Paganism.

~Sacrificing any living thing is STRICTLY prohibited in Wicca.

~ Wiccans do not hex, charm, do love spells on others or even non harmful spells on people without their permission.

~Witches don’t ride brooms.

~NOT ALL Wiccans do ritual nude or skyclad. This is a personal preference of each individual. Some prefer to be nude because they feel closer to The Mother.

~Wiccans are not required to take part in sex acts or orgies. Some people incorporate sex acts with their partners into ritual for fertility reasons, or even just a way to celebrate nature’s gift of procreation. It is by no means a regular practice.

I hope this gives you the basics of Wicca. Enjoy your life and time with your loved ones.

Blessed Be,

Armidia

So how can you release energy that has built up in your space? And how do you even know you need to release energy in the first place? If you don’t feel 100% super fantastic, then you need to release energy.

Here are some great ways to release energy.

· Laughter – even if you laugh at a TV show, it works so start laughing. Laughing is the easiest and healthiest way to release energy that is bogging you down.

· Cry – if you’re feeling sad, watch a sad movie or read a sad book. You don’t have to cry about your life to release sad energy.

· Exercise – people who exercise regularly tend to clear their energy space faster than those who don’t. So turn on the music and have a dance party in your living room or take a walk around the block.

· Decompress – now, I don’t recommend this as an option for most people, but if you are a “stuffer” and you constantly stuff your anger to keep from releasing it, then you can grab a pillow and scream into it. You can also have a pillow fight with your sofa. Don’t worry, it’s padded and won’t hate you afterwards.

Once you’ve started releasing energy, you may notice that you don’t feel better, but instead, you feel worse. This is OKAY! Not all of our issues are small and easy to shake off. If you are releasing a major energy, it may take a few tries or even a hundred tries.

Each attempt is a success, so keep at it. Also, you may want to try a laughing, crying and exercising combo if you find your energy still feels blah.  If you don’t know what your issue is or what is bugging you, don’t worry, you don’t have to know what it is to release it. You can just magically release the energy with these techniques without having to relive it.

Okay, so let’s say you’ve tried and tried and done everything under the sun to release whatever energy is holding you back and you just can’t do it. Now what? Well, there are some energies in our space that we don’t want to let go of, therefore, if you are not ready to let go, then you won’t be able to release it. It’s just that simple.

There are also some energies that we shouldn’t let go of at all. For instance, you don’t want to let go of the energy that taught you to look both ways before you cross the street, that could be disastrous! If you’ve tried and feel like you haven’t made progress, then you may have a bigger issue underlying a smaller one that you aren’t ready to deal with. And that’s okay. You can chip away at it little by little by using the mentioned tools.

If you run into a huge issue, first, give yourself permission to acknowledge it and release it. You and only you own your space. You are the king of your energy, so take back your thrown, adorn yourself with a shiny jewel encrusted crown and dismiss it. If it refuses to leave, dismiss it again. And again. And again. Cry, laugh and move your body around and it will have to leave.

Now, when other people get into your space, don’t freak out or blame them for we all get in each other’s space on a daily basis. Just use your tools to release them and go about your life. The only time people maliciously get into your space to cause you harm is if they are angry or want to control you. In those cases, it may be harder to release the energy because we tend to take things like that personally, so use the laughter technique to break up the lower vibrations of anger and control.

If someone has hurt your feelings, try using exercise to reclaim your personal power. If someone has broken your heart, cry it out first then transition to laughing. And if you have gotten into someone else’s space, forgive yourself and just simply pull your energy back from them. Your intention to withdraw the only tool you need to call your energy back.

Releasing energy is all about claiming your personal power. Intend it to be so and it is so. Whether you laugh it out, cry it out or go for the world championship title of Sofa Pillow Fighting, remember that YOU control YOUR energy and you are allowed to have your own space.

Here are the steps we followed which you can complete at home to work on alleviating your own annoying patterns and behaviors that you wish to alter.

Change Change Change

First we have to work on finding the root cause. To find the root requires a little digging, a little self reflection and a heaping dose of honesty.

Ask yourself the following series of questions…When do I feel compelled to do X? Am I feeling stressed, happy, sad or alone? What is my environmental setting at the time? Are there others that contribute to the situation? What seems to be the specific trigger that sets forth the chain of events that makes me want to (smoke, eat, drink or bite my nails, etc…) and be as specific as possible.

Once you have listed out your patterns, now is the time to craft the new messages that we want to send to the subconscious mind. The trick here is to focus on the positive and not the negative which is what so many of us do.

How many times have you said to yourself, I am never going to smoke again only to pick up a cigarette a few hours/days later when we have worn through our last thread of willpower? The same holds true for dieting and eating or any other self-sabotaging habit we have formed.

The reason these “never again” declarations of intent never work is because we focus on the wrong thing. It is kind of like saying, “don’t pay any attention to the picture of the pink elephant on the next page.” All you can think about now is the pink elephant picture and what that must look like. Your subconscious is the same. If you tell it that you don’t want to do X anymore all it is going to think about is X.

Focus On the Opposite!

If I want to stop smoking, I am going to create new sentences to implant into my mind that say how wonderful I smell and things around me are much clearer when I don’t smoke. I am going to speak of how easy it is to take deep breaths and that food tastes so much better. You need to create a new substitution for your cigarettes so add to your sentences when you find yourself craving nicotine, you will drink a glass of water. Incorporate substitutes for the situations that you discovered about your root cause in the paragraphs above and use them to your advantage in a positive state.

If I am trying to lose weight, I am going to write sentences that state that I am a much slimmer person and that I find the willingness to exercise and the exercise is effortless. I enjoy exercising and eating healthy choices for my meals and am happy with the new slimmer me. If you find that your button seems to be chocolate then you want to create a statement that has you gravitating towards a new healthier snack such as carrots or the like. Create realistic goals that can be modified as each goal is reached.

See the difference in focus? Once you have 2 or 3 positive sentence statements created we are ready for the implementation step!

Get Ready, Get Set, GO!

To prepare yourself for your self-hypnosis session you will need to have some soothing music to play in the background for relaxation and to help distract your conscious mind.

As you get comfortable in your relaxation spot, remove all outside distractions such as pets, telephones or TV’s.

Start with talking to yourself about how you are relaxing your head beginning with the top of your head and your forehead. Moving down to your eyes, then your nose and cheeks. State this in a slow and steady tone as you continue to move from your head all the way down to the bottom of your feet.

Once you have reached the bottom of your feet, begin to repeat the positive sentences that you have prepared and repeat each sentence at least three times. Do this on a daily basis for at least 3 weeks. As new issues crop up, you can always modify your sentences to address things as they arise.

Once a week, review your progress to see how far you have come and in no time at all, you will see how you can retrain your brain one step at a time!

• Call your mother. She will proceed to give you a totally biased opinion of your wonderful attributes that you really won’t believe anyway. Then she’ll guilt you to death about why you haven’t called, why you don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend, etc. That puts you back at square one.  
• Excessive retail therapy. Impulsive buying may give you instant gratification, but once the credit card bill arrives or your bank account is over-drawn, you’ll be in your funk again.
• Binge drinking/controlled substances. You’re not hurting anyone other than yourself…not to mention that the hangovers can be a real bitch.

Prior to starting my career as a stylist, I HAD been that girl in the salon with her sweat pants, jacked up ponytail and not a stitch of makeup on. I had a major case of “the funk”. It wasn’t easy to shake and unfortunately, still makes it’s guest appearances every now and again… I’m just better with dealing with it now.

What I can say will work is just taking care of yourself. Mind, Body & Soul. My grandma (God, I loved her and wish she were still with us) used to say to me: “Just take at least a half and hour out of the day for yourself. Put your makeup on…even if you’re not going anywhere. You’ll feel so much better about yourself.” I thought she was full of shit when she said it to me until I tried it. I’ll be damned if she wasn’t right.

Here’s a nice tip that will relax you and add shine to your hair after a long day:

You will need the following:

1) Hand towel

2) Liquid shine serum (I like Redken Glass~not the spray kind)

3) Deep conditioner (Redken Buttertreat is great for this)

4) Shower cap

Shampoo hair. Repeat, if necessary. (You don’t want to “over shampoo” the hair because you don’t want to strip the hair of ALL it’s natural oils)

Take about a quarter to fifty cent piece size of deep conditioner in your hand and put 3-4 drops of liquid shine serum into it (you may need more if you have very long hair). Rub your hands together to mix.

Apply to the hair starting mid-hairshaft working your way to the ends. Go back and do the hair by your scalp last.

Take the hand towel and soak it in hot water. Wring it out and wrap it around your head/hair and put the shower cap on.

Leave this on for about 15 minutes for the best results.

Rinse

This will leave your hair very soft and shiny!

Have fun!!

Stacy